Eventually we girls all discover that the only place the man of our dreams exists is-just there- in our dreams.

The delusion begins, I think, in early childhood with fairy tales wherein the beautiful princess marries the handsome prince and everyone lives happily ever after. As we grow older, we play with Barbie and Ken dolls; they live glorious make-believe lives, dressed in elegant outfits, ride around in flashy cars, all the while sporting mindless, plastic smiles. It was difficult to imagine them having any problems. I mean, would Ken ever yell at Barbie for leaving the bathroom tap dripping? Not in your wildest dreams!

Most of the movies reinforce our unrealistic view of love and marriage. The stars may have some problems to overcome at the beginning of the story, but they invariably solve them and stroll off into the sunset,to love and cherish each other, in their mortgage-free mansion, for the rest of their natural lives. Even Beauty's Beast turned into a handsome prince at the conclusion the Walt Disney production.

And so, a young lady entering the dating scene may expect to find a living, breathing Ken doll waiting around the next corner, to sweep her away from her boring existence: school, homework, clean up your room, get off the phone, be home by ten on school nights. If anyone was ever in need of a dream man, it's she!

Whom does she probably encounter? A slightly older teenager with a bad complexion, droopy pants and a baseball cap on backward. His idea of a big date is a walk in the park and enjoying a Coke with two straws before he walks her home. She keeps looking, and looking and looking. She finds many beasts and not one of them shows the slightest sign of changing into anything better. Meanwhile, she is getting older. Her friends are getting married and some of them are becoming mothers. What to do?

Maybe she'll have to compromise. Even the beast didn't become a prince until the end of the story. So she chooses the least objectionable beau, hoping to be able to exert enough good influence to smooth out the rough spots and shape him into the man of her dreams, a husband fit for a princess, or, as she becomes when she marries him, a queen.

Eventually, the truth dawns. As she views her own marriage and those of her friends, she realizes that a dream man doesn't exist. Her husband, and those of her friends are human beings, and humans are not perfect. As she becomes older and more mature, she figures out that it's probably a good thing too. A perfect person would be very hard to live with.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Tytler.
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