Improving Communication Skills in Your Life

In order to be a good communicator it is necessary to avoid making judgments about people, which are based on generally, accepted stereotypes, not on the knowledge and understanding of the person. This means everyone should be recognized as an individual, respecting his or her cultures values and beliefs. The communicator should show confidence, enthusiasm and have a sense of humor. People like to think you are being honest with them giving time and taking time to listen totally.

Communication is much more than just talking to people. People communicate through speaking, facial expression, body language, position, dress, and gestures. It is necessary to know what is being communicated to you and how to communicate with others without always using words.

A good knowledge of other people's body language is essential. Lack of eye contact is the first indication that all might not be well and that the other person is not feeling confident. People who are feeling well and cheerful tend to hold their heads up, sitting in a relaxed and comfortable way. Someone who is twisting their hands or playing with hair or clothes is signaling tension and worry. Shrugging of the shoulders or spreading of the hands indicates helplessness or hopelessness.

Beware of your own body language, It is as important as understanding the person you are talking to. It must show that you are approachable.

Eye contact should be maintained (avoid staring) be aware of what you are doing. Sit a comfortable distance away, where you can be seen. Gestures should show you are interested in what is being said; folded arms or crossed legs can indicate that you are closed to someone. Nodding your head indicates you are interested and receptive.

When using speech it should be clear and of good volume. Shouting simply distorts what is being said and plays havoc with facial expression. Speaking too softly makes it hard to be understood. Sometimes it may be necessary to balance the volume of what is said with the need to maintain privacy.

Communication should never be taken for granted; not everyone communicates in the same way. It is necessary to find out on what level your partner communicates. You should always show integrity, offering confidentiality, being compassionate, full of warmth and empathy i.e. being able to put yourself in the other persons situation, knowing how they feel.

Care should be taken not to tell someone what you think and express your opinion. This is not good communication. Don't ever dismiss others feelings by saying 'you shouldn't feel like that' this says they have no right to their feelings.
Paraphrasing what someone has told you is a useful way of showing you understand what the person has said. To do this you take what the person has said and repeat it in a slightly different way. This also gives the other person an opportunity to say 'No that's not what I meant.

To conclude in order to be a competent communicator you need practical and emotional skills. Communication is a two way process. Barriers have to be recognized and then removed for communication to work. Communication is more than just talking.

Learn more about this author, ROSEMARIE GLANVILLE.
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