From the man's perspective!

Any man whose wife or partner has had children knows what the feeling is like when you find out that you're expecting a child. The feeling of exultant joy, but at the same time, fear and dread! You're not sure whether to laugh and be happy, or to turn and run for your life.

After the initial shock, and the calculations running in my head (nappies [diapers], milk formula, nappies, clothes, nappies, etc.), I figured being happy was the best way to go. Having been married for just a short time, I didn't really expect to be welcoming a baby quite so soon. It would seem life doesn't always take into account what you have planned for the future!

After numberless dashes to the supermarket (usually right on closing time) for one food combination or another, and many nights being kicked out of bed to sleep on the sofa, the time draws near for another child to come forth. Not really knowing if this is a good thing or not, I figure it's too late to do anything about it now, so I start to grin and pretend I'm ecstatic- until she tells me that she wants me in the delivery room, for the whole darn thing! Whoops, smiles gone.

As the due date approaches, the bags are packed up, the expectation rises, and my wife gets less and less sleep. All this only to have great disappointment as the day passes without even so much as a niggling of labour. The days seemed to grow very long as each one passed with no development.

If I had known what labour was going to be like, I think I may have preferred to have things stay the way they were, though my wife may not have appreciated being eternally pregnant! But then the day arrived, but there wasn't any real warning. It sort of comes upon you- a bit like the neighbours dog sneaking up behind you and taking a bite out of your rear. And usually in the middle of the night!

After a mad dash to the hospital (madder still if it's the first child), we have to endure hour upon hour of contractions coming and going. It doesn't seem fair, really, the woman seems to get all the credit, but people forget that it is the men who stay by their side enduring all the verbal and physical abuse! Although, one time, my wife reached up and whacked her midwife in the face, thinking it was me standing behind her.

Finally, after eighteen hours of labour the baby finally decided to show his face. Despite the fact that he was born looking rather blue, and wasn't breathing, it was quite a relief- until someone handed me a pair of tiny, blunt-nosed scissors. Upon asking what these were for, I was informed that I was to cut the umbilical cord. I didn't really think this to be part of the deal, but being the dutiful husband, went to work. The worst part of this was the fact that I had to almost saw through it- it seems someone thought to blunt the cutting edge of the scissors, not just the nose!

Although I wouldn't recommend it as a leisure activity, the miracle of birth would have to be on of the most amazing, and horrible things I have ever witnessed. I am grateful that I do not have to endure the pain, but I certainly have a great respect for any woman who has ever given birth.

Learn more about this author, James Hartley.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Childbirth?
We want to hear your view. Write now!