I learned early on that my mother was trying to control every aspect of me my brother and even my father. You could get along with her but only if you agreed with everything she said or did and did everything she told you to do. But if you didn't you would find yourself on the other end of her wrath. Needless to say my childhood and teenage years were very interesting because I was the only one who would buck the system. As an adult and a mother I was being scorned by her and trust me she would tell everyone that would listen what a horrible mother I was. However after 30 years of this constant bickering and me wanting to except me the way I was and realizing it was never going to happen I decided to live my life for me and only me because no matter what I did she would never approve so I have taken the following steps. Hopefully they may help someone else.

1) I moved and Hour away
2) She doesn't have my home number.
3) When I go to town I stop in and say hi and leave within 15 minutes and never discuss anything of importance.
4) When my friends and family call to tell me what she is saying about me now I just tell them I'm sorry you had to listen to her and I change the subject.

You see I have come to believe that when parents try to control their children to this degree its just because they are unhappy with themselves so to make themselves feel better they try to control...It takes the attention off of them.
I feel sorry for my mother because she will never know true happiness because when you have to put other people down to feel good about yourself it is very sad. However as my Sunday school teacher told me you don't have to be around people who bring you down you are suppose to be around people who lift you up. So it is OK to love them from a distance and just worry about making yourself happy....

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