Step parents are They Evil?

Step parents have gotten a bad rap over the years. They are portrayed as the evil one in the family. Some are the best people you would ever meet, others should not have been put in that role in a child's life. They take on a role of the missing parent and usually get all the anger of the divorce or death of the child's loved one.

In the event of the death, the child is angry and takes it out on the step parent. The child, if old enough, will tend to make the dead parent out to be a hero, even when they did not deserve it. The child will say things like, "Dad didn't do it that way," or "Mom would have let me do that." When dealing with this type of excuses, the step parent should just step back and let them cool off, then sit down with them and discuss exactly how their rules are and how they do things. Take suggestions from the child on how the absent parent would have dealt with the situation and come up with an agreeable compromise. Always have both parents, step and natural, help deal with the situation.

With divorce, it is much harder on the child, because they can go see them anytime they want. With todays technology, the absent parent is usually just a phone call away. The most important thing to NOT do, is talk about the absent parent in front of the the child. Whatever "mess up" the absent parent has done, should not be told around the child at any time. One can still take the place of the absent parent without actually taking over that role. If need be, call the absent parent and discuss how to handle trying situations that need all figures of the family unit.

In today's society, there are more and more step mothers and step fathers raising the children of today. Having a happy and functional family in the world today is getting harder. Getting any advice one can from other step parents is helpful in dealing with the children of another marriage or partnership. Be respectful in what one can step in and give their opinion and know when to step back and let the natural parents deal with the situation. Hopefully this will help any potential or future step parents.

Learn more about this author, Paula Trotter.
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