It starts from the moment you announce you are expecting, although the reasons that people offer unsolicited advice are as varied as the advice itself. Some really do have the best intentions, and want to help you. Others may not like to share the spotlight with anyone else, and want to redirect attention to themselves by sounding like the authority on parenting. Either way, when advice is unsolicited, you have several choices to make before you react.

1. Consider the source. Is this someone you know and trust, who you know has your best intentions at heart? If so, you can simply offer your sincere thanks for their words. After all, its is completely up to you whether you want to actually follow the advice, and most of the time your "advisor" will never need to know whether you did. Either way, you don't want to hurt feelings and strain your relationship.

2. Let common sense reign. Do the words ring true, or does the advice sound fishy? Even if the source is an "expert" in the field, like your doctor or pediatrician, if you are uncomfortable with the guidance you have been given, get a second opinion! You are the very best judge of what your child needs, so do not ignore your instincts.

3. When the source is hostile. There are times when you are not going to trust the source of advice on parenting, and when that happens, you should question the information itself. You don't want to automatically dismiss what seems like good advice just because you may not like the person delivering it. If the advice seems sound, but the source is questionable, check the facts before you act.

4. What to say. Let's face it if someone is inclined to offer unsolicited advice, you will not change them. They will continue to share their knowledge with you regardless of whether you appreciate it, because it is human nature. Do acknowledge the information, and either express your appreciation, or politely decline. When you like the advice you receive, what to say is simple: "Thanks! I think that's a great idea!" When you want to decline the advice, there are things you can say that will get your message across without embarrassing anyone. Try, "Thanks, but my doctor/pediatrician has advised me to ____ instead. We have a great relationship so I feel good about following his/her advice." Or, "Wow, I heard/read something different in/on (name your source). I'd better go check the facts again before I go either way on that." Another idea is to say

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Dealing with unsolicited parenting advice?
We want to hear your view. Write now!