Family conflict has grown out of our need for possessions . You have to have a place to stay , you have to pay bills and taxes and you have to balance the family conflicts at the same time . Sometimes it all can be so overwhelming , it has always been left up to me to figure out how to pay bills , when there is no money to pay with .

My wife has always been scared of big money , we often had disagreements about money . The house caused major conflicts as did the cars . She wanted no part of the dealings of purchasing property . She wanted to be the one that could say,"I told you so", when things went south . It never stopped her from enjoying the benefits of these purchases . It was always about the money , you can not get away from it .

I had a good paying job and I spent many hours there working , I knew we needed the money , so you have to sacrifice time with family and kids , to make money for their needs . My wife would often tell me , "my work was the other woman", she was right , but this one paid me . It was a never ending task trying to balance the two , work and family .

My wife wanted to be a stay at home Mom , I had no problem with that . The kids seemed more settled , having her there when they broke through the front door .
I felt more at ease knowing she was there too . I missed so many of my kids functions due to work , baseball games , school plays , awards banquets and so on .
I always tried to spend as much time as I could with them when I was home .

Then one day while I was at work , I was called over the intercom at work that I had a telephone call in the back office . This was rare , I only got calls in an emergency . I walked as fast as I could , to receive the call .I pushed the line button , I could hear crying on the other end . It was my wife , she was crying saying , I needed to come get her .

I asked her where she was at , and she replied she was at a hotel , and she was having an affair . The other mans wife had caught them , and his wife had let all the air out of her tires on her car . I asked her where the kids were and she said with the baby sitter . I reluctantly went to her aid , hurtful thoughts burned my chest and brain , tears welled up in my eyes . How could the woman I love do this to me , the trust had gone from our relationship .

It took me many years to forgive her , I never really trusted her again , we went to marriage counseling , we had long talks , about work , and needs and money and most important our family . We stayed together for many years after , but the memories would flash up every time a argument would arise , and she would always blame me , for not forgiving her . So , I gave up on her , as much as I loved her ,I gave up . I was tired of fighting my feelings for her and against the world .

Learn more about this author, Rex Coker.
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