5 of 35

Write now Article Tools

When You Bury Me

I want no crying..no sadness, from any of you.
Your bright smile, is the only required attire.
I want you to view the ceremony, as not a funeral..
but a celebration..of long awaited passing.
Though your grief, for which my tormented heart bleeds..
please breathe for me..a sigh of relief.
At last, I got out. Be happy for me.
Your hearts will be troubled..your minds..at first, will be shocked.

If you ever really knew me, than you understood how badly I wanted out.
Writing this, I feel stricken by the prediction of your pain.
Please don't feel my absence as a loss..but a gain.
I will help guide you. I'll be happy for once..living as someone new.
This life was just too hard.
I know that sounds weak, but it's true.
No one can really know what I've lived through.
You can never know the deep hurt I've been made to feel.
Memories would replay, and over and over..the pain would inflict me.
Such immense sorrow. One can never know.
Those wounds are still open.the stinging blood continues to flow.
Too much to bare.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Am I here, or am I there?
Memories suck me in..like a black hole.
Making me relive old scenes. Killing my life..taking my soul.
I have been only partially alive.
What difference does it make, if I live or if I die?
When you bury me, please understand.
Hurting you, was never part of my plan.
Please try to see it my way.I tried everything..I did.
You knew how hard I struggled with old scars and emotions..just to live.
I knew you wanted me to stay.
In the end, nothing worked..and I needed to escape.
Don't blame yourselves or each other.
I know you're thinking you did a bad job, Mother.
The one who's responsible, is my father.
You did everything you could, to stop the abuse.
Tens of years have passed, and look at what I'm going through.
Seizures..caused by trauma to the head.
Overwhelming sadness keeps me up in bed.
Little stresses, make me cry.
One after another..they pull me inside old scenes.
Forced to relive painful memories..I wanted to die.
I hope that explanation helps you to understand why.
Mother, you were always there for me.
No matter what, you were my everything.
You helped me pay my bills, when I feared they'd be late.
You brought me food, when I had nothing to eat.
Always listening to my woes..and comforting me.
You gave up your Thursdays, to come and pray with me.
You forgave Fred, because for your peace..I pleaded.
Offering your motherly advice..you'd help me out of a jam.
Some daughter I turned out to be..in the end.
How ungrateful..to leave the one who's given everything for you.
All because I folded under pressure.
One day, without council..I simply gave up.
All alone, without giving you the time of day..I decided to fall away.
How very selfish of me.
I'm so sorry. I never gave you proper credit.
To you..my soul is forever indebted.
True..you couldn't save me in the end.
It's not your fault..I wouldn't let you in.
I didn't want anyone to feel the sadness, which boiled over, in my heart.
I didn't want friends and loved ones to feel that, at gatherings..
so I stayed apart.
Today, I ask that you let go of all pain.
Forget your troubles..do it in memory of me.
When you bury me, I want you to think of my long awaited relief..and smile.
Know that though I'll be gone from you..it'll be just for a while.
There is no need for flowers.
On the damp grass, you needn't kneel.
For my soul, will not be here.
True, I will be unseen.
Yet, still here..to offer my comforting.
Remember always, my silly laughter..and happy ways.
I will with you in spirit, always.

Learn more about this author, Tara Jacoby.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Poetry: When you bury me?
We want to hear your view. Write now!