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Young siblings often fall prey to jealousy. For this, the parents are at fault. With ten children, jealousy has no place in our household. Bonding between siblings at a young age is necessary to combat the jealousy.

First and foremost, parents must realize the new baby is not more important than the older child. Children as close in age nine months can form bonds that lightning cannot break, but only with the help of their parents.

By the time a child can walk, his speech may not be as developed as you would like. It will progress by leaps and bounds by employing the child to help the parent at every stage. When it is time to change the baby, sibling should be fetching diapers or a box of wipes. This provides vocabulary for sibling and interaction with baby.

When it is time to go, sibling should be in charge of the "go" bag. "Go" bag should hold only the requisite number of diapers and wipes and one drink/snack per child. As baby gets older, sibling will begin to take initiative and fetch the go bag without prompting. The final stage of this behavior is sibling employing baby (now toddler) in the filling of the go bag.

Here is the second step in the bonding process. When sibling can take on the role of example and teacher, he feels as though he is progressing toward the level of parent. Monitor this closely so that sibling does not take the responsibility for discipline. When baby has playtime, let it be in the room with sibling. This will erase the invisible line between baby and sibling. Parents will be watching baby play, so incorporating sibling here is very simple.

The third step is amazing and happens without parental intervention. Sibling will take on the role of protector of the baby. When baby ventures into a learning experience sibling has already had, sibling will intervene. Sibling has accepted that this is "her baby" and will not let anything bad happen to him. Sibling will at this point begin to recognize baby's needs and alert parents.

The fourth step is teamwork. Children close in age should act as a unit, much the way that twins do. You will notice that they speak to one another in a language that you do not understand. This is perfectly normal and will disappear over time. As sibling takes a larger teaching role, you will find that the younger child will begin to speak and walk sooner than the first.

Time is the crucial factor to this plan. The children must spend time together, both with the parents and, when appropriate, alone. Once parents are sure that bullying will not occur, children allowed to play alone together develop games and problem solving skills which just may amaze the onlooker.

Eating together helps form better eating habits and hastens the onset of self feeding. Do not neglect this quality time spent together. Parents can help themselves by eating with their children to sustain energy.

Where you may want more alone time with your baby, remember that sibling had been the baby first. Close the gap between them rather than widening it. You have the power to build bonds between the siblings which will last a lifetime.

Learn more about this author, Ann Marie Dwyer.
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