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or irresponsible. He might drift from job to job, or act out sexually, or embarrass you in social situations. You can do your best to encourage better behavior but you can't force him to conform to your standards. It helps to remember that this kind of self-sabotage hurts him even more than it hurts you. Concentrate on being as healthy and stable as possible yourself, and set limits for yourself. Decide how far you will go to bail your loved one out and stick to that. If you shield him from every consequence of his behavior he won't find his own strength.

Your loved one may make dramatic gestures, like threatening to leave you or commit suicide, expecting you to prove your love or save him or her. She may pick fights or manipulate you emotionally just to hear you proclaim your undying love and devotion. Be reassuring, but don't be afraid to tell your loved one (as nicely as possible) that this behavior is not necessary or healthy. Try not to add to the drama-don't panic or make dramatic gestures. People with BPD want that in the short term, but in the long term they need you to be stable and not feed into the drama.

Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder can be exhausting, but people with this disorder appreciate it more than they can express. You can be an invaluable support in their ever-shifting and frightening mental world.

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