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I Am Haunting Laughter

I laughed that famous, demonic laugh that scares people till their toes tingle, their eyes water, their hair stands on end, and they run screaming from the room.

Yeah, I can laugh like that all day long. Hee hee, you see, I am the laugh that haunts your nights, the laugh that makes you want to cry so hard you wet your pants. I am the laugh that sends chills up your spine and little children to the shrink. Ministers quote from the Bible where it says: there is a time to laugh. Oh, yeah, laugh and the world laughs with you, not if it laughs with me. I'll make you walk the plank right down to Davey Jones' Locker, with old Captain Hook and Blimey Slimey and all. Peter Pan ain't got nothing on me. Yeah, laugh with me will you. You may try to laugh my laugh and keep up, but you'll never manage to do more than cry and wet your pants. That ye will, matey. It's timber me shivers and all that rot. My parrot tried to imitate my laugh, and fell off the yard arm. Old Captain Rankshankle and his merry band of pirates couldn't laugh as good as me. I'll never tell how I developed this ability to laugh so bad it makes your skin crawl, your eyes water, your nose twitch, your hair falls out, and your causes your mama to want to tie you to the bedpost. Oh, yeah, laugh with me and I'll send you straight to the River Styx.

Laugh with me and we'll drain the ocean and send the water all the way to Pluto. They say it's not a planet any more. Well, who cares then, we'll just damn all the oceans here and send the water out there. They'll find something to do with it.
Laughter, that's me, haunting wasn't this good on Halloween. I may even get a job in the Haunted House of Hillary next year. They will love my laugh, they will cherish it, they will worship me, for I am the best and the worst and the scariest, wariest laughter of them all. Parents will have to guard their children carefully around me. They will not want me at their birthday parties, no clowns would dare come near me if they value their bright orange noses, they won't. I am the laughter that causes the moon to turn dark and the sun to freeze. The laughter that dried up Niagara Falls, toppled Mt. Everest, and evaporated all the smoke and lava from Mt. Vesuvius, demon laughter that's me.

Come into my den and you won't be seen alive again. I will keep you there till your bones dry out and your hair falls off, follicle by follicle, and your teeth decay, and your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth so you starve to death. No one will come to your rescue, because they fear me, they know how powerful I am. I AM HAUNTING LAUGHTER and you better beware.....

Learn more about this author, Sherry Jackman.
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