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The bells have stopped ringing for you and your love. Thoughts of the wedding that should have been, now lie choking in the tears of sadness and pain. The words "special day," which only a short while ago were greeting you like a bright neon sign every morning, now hang listless in your mind, like a run-down cinema simply repeating the haunting memories of joyful days of preparation now lost in time. That special day, your wedding day, has been cancelled.

It matters little who cancelled the wedding or why, the aftermath will still be difficult to comprehend and understand. So how do you cope when your wedding has been cancelled? There are those who would advocate immediately stepping back into the world, hiding your sadness and feelings behind a brave and defiant exterior, but this is not the way to cope.

The fist step in coping with a cancelled wedding is the same as it would be for another other sadness. Embrace the emotions that you are feeling and take the time you need to come to terms with the loss of the dream, which was once so close but has now turned to dust. Let yourself deal with the hurt, for if you don't it will stay with you, marring you future happiness. Only when you feel ready to wipe away the tears and smile ought you to move on and it will not take long for that forward looking day to dawn, as long as you allow yourself time to calm you pain.

Certainly you have a right to feel anger, especially if your partner to be is the one who has walked away from you, and that feeling must be allowed to be expressed. However, do not let it consume you. Furthermore, you must guard against anger turning into wrath or hatred, even if it is to be directed at the person who has left. He or she will not see or feel your hatred, as they will be gone. However, if you do not let it go the pain will continue to hurt you in the future, which is not what you deserve. Hatred held within is likely to mar the beauty and love you would want to feel for any future partner you are likely to meet. It is important to let that new love be pure, free from the clouds of pain that have gathered in the past and in your heart.

Within the pain you also have time to think about what has happened. At this time, allow a moment for relief. Relief that although the news was painful, it came in time to stop you from making a commitment you might have regretted in the future. Hopefully the pain of a cancelled marriage will, at some time in the future, become balanced with the release from what could possibly have been an even more hurtful divorce, even though it does not feel like that at the time of your deep sadness.

One day you will open your eyes to the dawn and see brightness. The sun will add sparkle to your eyes. You will suddenly notice that it has gone. That pain and sadness, which has been close by for those past days or weeks has receded into the mists of the past, leaving you now fresh and free to look forward with hope and pleasure towards a bright and happy future. When that day dawns, then you will know that you have coped with the cancellation of the wedding and, what is more, you have moved on to become again a person deserving of love.

Learn more about this author, Paul Lines.
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