by Laura Leigh Fields

Created on: October 12, 2007

The dating world isn't an easy one. It can be confusing, frustrating and even painful at times. It is difficult to find someone you are compatible with. Harder still is trying to date and being a mother.

First and foremost, don't look for a father for your child. This is never a good thing. Using your child, as a reason to be with someone or tie him or her down is the worse mistake you can ever make. Give things time and see what happens.

It is important to be honest with your potential date. Inform them you are a mother and that it is a package deal. They must accept your child as a part of you. Ready or not, if he wants to be with you, he has to be willing to commit to being by your side through the parenting years. If they are not willing to do so then it is time to move on.

Include your child in on activities. Dating with a child doesn't mean leaving them at the babysitter while you go out. Include them in on activities. Involve your child in your plans. Leaving your child out of things will only cause resentment.

Alone time is important for any couple but there is a time and place for it. Wait until your child is sleeping or occupied before you start cuddle time. For a child this may be awkward. They might also feel jealous and scared to share their mom with someone else. Don't flaunt something in your child's face that makes them uncomfortable.

Never choose a man over your child. Some children have trouble accepting their parents' new mate but sometimes it can go too far. If your child has a reasonable problem with your partner then you should all sit down together and talk about the situation. Try to come to a conclusion everybody can live with.

Be careful with your child's emotions. If they are easily attached, and you fear they may get hurt, wait awhile and see how the relationship goes. More often than not, children are emotionally affected by break-ups.

Explain to your child that dating isn't a bad thing. Make sure they understand that the new person in your life is not the reason you and daddy split up. Don't argue with your mate in front of your child. Children don't need to be a part of angry words that everyone later regrets. Take it one day at a time. Compromise. Talk. Do the best you can. When you least expect it, you will realize you are a real family after all.

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