I must be one of the lucky ones. People often ask us how we do it and why. The answer is simple...we do it because we have children.

Divorcing was not a simple decision for us. We were friends and lovers but we had grown apart and we no longer agreed on the things that were important in life. We wanted each other to be happy but we weren't happy with each other. We also knew that ending it all wasn't going to be easy but it was something we had to do.

We did everything we could to make it easier on the kids and for the most part we succeeded. We have put our differences aside many times when it came to them and yet we have struggled to maintain our privacy, our own worlds, and the merged world they now share. We share custody and for the most part we are flexible and allow our children to make the decisions about where they want to spend their time. Right after we divorced, my ex and I took them to Disneyland, a trip we had always said we would do together. It was tough and we had our moments but we put the kids first. We share birthday parties, sports events and the like; most of the time we sit together. I have remarried and now the three of us can be seen at the events together. When my ex became ill and needed surgery, my new husband gave him rides to his appointments. It was tough at first but we have persevered and made it work.

The biggest benefit of all is the blossoming of our kids. They are comfortable enough to know that all three of their parents love them and care for them. They can hop from lap to lap and they know no difference. School functions are easy as we all attend everything. The latest development? The grandparents are now sitting together. All four sets of them. What a beautiful sight for our children. We are teaching them tolerance, love and acceptance. And that makes it all worthwhile.

Learn more about this author, Julene Mcgregor.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Living with my ex?
We want to hear your view. Write now!