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Just in case the aggrieved comments of your friends, your family, co-workers, your boss and your mental health professional haven't yet managed to clue you in, here are twelve absolutely perfect ways to know that you're absolutely role-playing too much:

-your wife asks you if you still love her and you pull out your percentile dice.

-you force your sweet little two-year-old daughter to be a Wage Mage for Hallowe'en.

-you can't visit your friends in Seattle because you're afraid of the giant Roaches.

-you won't visit your friend in the mountains because you're afraid of Sky Raiders.

-you speak more than five different fantasy languages fluently, plus Japanese.

-you know every level of The Path of the Empty Bottle, but what grade is your son in?

-you secretly admire a dwarf that lives down the block; you think she's an adept.

-you frequent elf-porn websites instead of anime-porn websites- and keep hopefully searching for that dragon-porn site you've heard rumors of.

-you own a French-language version of Might and Magic- and you don't speak French.

-you know hundreds of dirty Trollack jokes; you're forbidden to tell them at work.

-you wish Cthulu was real.

-you work as a dedicated team member- in Paranoia.

Learn more about this author, Mari Lee Kozlowski.
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