by Beth Howells-Murphy

Created on: October 11, 2007

Does the sun come up in the East? Did Romeo love Juliet? Are the red jelly beans the best? Yes! Yes! Yes!

In all of history there is one truth that holds true if there are stories, if there are parables, if there are wives tales or myths then there was/is some truth in some fraction to the basis of the story.Tales of Greek and Roman and Norse Gods weren't spun out of thin air, they were based on unexplainable events for that time in history. So are soul mates. There are just too many fairy tales with happily ever afters and love songs and novels on the subject to ever discredit the fact that true love and soul mates do in all actuality exist.

The truth of the matter is that humanity is a condition much like Pavlov's dogs; we as a species tend to be conditioned to what is expected. We are an age of dysfunctional families and adult children of broken homes. We have all had our hearts trampled upon until there weren't pieces left just merely dust. And in the jaded way we have been trained to think; we analytically say no, there is no such a thing as soul mates. Because we believe we wont find ours and that they do not exist we do not. Hence the cycle continues to the next generation of jaded human expectancies. If you tune your radio dial to a rock station do you expect to here classic Bach? No. And that is how are lives are based, we receive what we believe.

Another faction in the doubt of soul mates is that we are our own worst enemy. We live in a era of fast food, broad band Internet, easily accessible options for everything in a seconds notice. We expect our love lives to be the same. Quick, easy, and made to order. We rarely stop to feel our own pain and to do a personal inventory of our own damaged issues. How can we expect someone to love us when we don't even know ourselves? We hope that "this" is the one, this one will ease the pain, make me happy, fix all of my problems. I'd be happy if I were in love, etc, etc,etc. NO!
We can not expect a relationship to cure all of our ills or complete what's missing, but rather to compliment all that is good about our lives. For that's what a relationship should be...part of the balance...not a band aid for what's injured. We should not be looking for someone to fill a void...rather compliment a whole. But that can not be done unless we slow down and take a personal inventory. We must find out who we are. In our lifetimes we make many, many metamorphoses, we change , we grow, our tastes vary.....we need to stop and find out who we are right now....and who exactly we want to become. We need time to analyze what hurts we are still secretly clinging to that are sabotaging our relationships. Fix the whole, then look for what compliments it.

So the question is not do we each have a soul mate out there waiting and searching for us. Of course we do! But are we ready and healthy enough to recognize them we they come along and nurture not destroy the relationship when it begins to blossom? That is the real question. The universe will not hand you perfection knowing you are only ready to destroy the gift. Remember the booming voice in that old commercial...."build it and they will come...." Build yourself, do the work, when you are ready your soul mate will just appear. Like magic...poof....right in front of your eyes! And you will be ready to enjoy the ride. To appreciate all that they are....and all you have become.

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