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Perhaps the most difficult thing about thinking that you know what you want out of a relationship is realising that perhaps you don't quite know after all.

I imagine most of us have been through this - to know exactly what you want from a relationship, and then to feel strangely dissatisfied when that 'dream' partner is handed to us. It's as though what you thought that you really wanted wasn't so appealing in the end after all.

Maybe it's to do with that old adage of wanting something we can't have. I guess we will always be wired to feel that whatever that is given us MIGHT not be the best, and that there's someone out there better.

I've always had a picture in my mind about my Mr Right: he would be God-fearing, kind but confident, have a sense of humour, be intelligent and preferably enjoyed music like me.

Recently, my 'ideal' man showed up, or should I say men; they were both seemingly God-fearing, kind, very confident in their different ways, definitely humourous, very intelligent and very musically-inclined. But my intuition tells me that they're both not the ONE.

Which leads me to the logical question: is my 'right' partner not so right after all? For almost 2 years now, I had been very clear about what I wanted out of a relationship and who that other half might be like. I had grown out of that "I don't know what I want from a relationship" phase, I thought, to a hopefully mature and logical way of looking at relationships. And yet, my heart still prompts me each time, "he's not the one." It's almost frustrating to know that the 'ideal' man was not so ideal after all.

I remember a book I read some time back and recently I'm remembering something that hit me hard back then. It's not so important who your ideal partner is and what he should be like. What's more important is: Are YOU the right person for HIM? And it all makes sense; if I'm looking for the right person, would that person look at me as the right person? Am I God-fearing enough, kind enough, confident enough and knowledgeable enough for him? If not, how could I expect to attract the right man? Isn't it true the old saying, "You attract people like yourself"?

So I guess we should all take a good, honest look at ourselves. Start focusing on really improving ourselves and our mindset. Then maybe we can become the right partner.

Learn more about this author, Gladys.
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