How to Deal With People Who Drain Your Energy

Dealing with someone who drains your energy can be a challenge,especially if the person is someone close to you. When you care for someone, you want to demonstrate that caring by listening and helping the other person. The problem arises when you lose sight of your boundaries.

When a person is draining your energy, it is because you are allowing that person to drain your energy. It is up to you to set boundaries and let the person know what those boundaries are. Nothing good comes from giving of yourself to the point you are totally depleted. When that happens you are no good to anyone,especially yourself.

In learning to set boundaries, the following are very important:

1) Learn to say NO. That's right. You must stop being a "yes" person. How many times have you said "yes" to someone at the same time you are thinking "Why won't she just leave me alone?" Is it her fault you said "yes" when you wanted to say "no"? Is she going to be totally devastated if you say "no"? The answer to both questions is a resounding "no".

2) Do not fall into the guilt trap. Often when you get to the place you are able to say "no" to a person, that person will try and guilt you into changing your mind. You will hear statements beginning this way:

"Remember when I helped you"
"Well, you'd think that as long as we've been friends"
"It's okay. I'll try and manage all alone somehow."
"I'm surprised. It's such a worthy cause. I was sure I could count you in."

3) Do not hesitate to let people know of your boundaries. It demonstrates a love of self... NOT selfishness. There's a difference. Selfishness is when you are the one encroaching on other people's boundaries in order to meet your needs. Love of self is when you are setting healthy boundaries which enable you to be your best.

Sadly, there will be people in your life who refuse to respect the boundaries you put in place. When this happens, it is probably best to totally separate yourself from such people. They are toxic to you.

Learning to place boundaries in your life will make a huge difference in the way people see you. They will sense the respect you have for yourself and learn to respect your boundaries. When this happens, you will no longer feel as if all of your energy is being drained from your body, mind, and spirit. You will be a healthier, happier you.

Learn more about this author, Cheryl Williams.
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