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Short stories: Silly stories

by L.J. Pugh

Created on: October 10, 2007

My dog is mad at me. Why? Well, I am not a dog whisperer by any means, but I do believe it has something to do with her walk...I cut it short.

Everyday we go for a walk. It begins way before we leave the house. She wakes me up at 4:30am, everyday like clockwork, to feed her. She then proceeds to venture through the house burping and making sounds only a man would make. Then, well then, she lays down exhausted from inhaling her morning grub.

At 6:00am she is ready. She has rested long enough and is now ready for two things to occur, well actually three things. "#1" and "#2" are obvious, but number three is, I dare say, part of the ritual too. Number three is the social part of it, for you see, no other dog in the neighborhood makes as much of a ruckus strolling down the street as she. No dog in the neighborhood, whether they are inside a house or in the yard, is silent as we pass their home. It should be noted, I have walked down the street with other people and their dogs and not experienced an all out barking frenzy, so I know she is the cause of the social unrest that occurs in our neighborhood and she thrives on it.

My dog is an Old English Sheepdog. Yep, she is a pure bred. Some say they are among the dumbest of dumb dogs out there, but my husband and I beg to differ. As far a dogs go, and I have had many, they are the most like humans. They speak to you, they push you around, they hug you, they are jealous, and they are manipulative. Yes, you heard me. They are also very loving and protective of their "kids."

I digress, and I apologize, but the above information is important if you are to understand the walk and why she is mad.

So, she speaks to me every morning at 6:00am. She begins with a whine, that is followed by a "nudge" of some sorts. A nudge can be a bump from behind to get your attention or a nose job to your hand - these are accompanied by a stare that is sweet and innocent; big brown eyes (yes, hers are brown and not blue) that look up at you and say, "I'm ready." If you are not ready and stare back, she whines and nudges you again while following you around the house as you change from your pajamas to walking clothes. She then begins to bounce around and bark when you put your socks on, this wakes up everyone in the house, especially when you say, very loud, "Quiet."

Personally, I started to talk back to her (my husband has jumped on board with this as well-they often argue with each other). When I say, "wait," she holds her breath and refrains

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