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Dying with dignity is a personal decision and should be supported by family, friends and physicians. In most cases this decision is based upon the patient's own idea of quality of life.

Often times a person has thought about death and dying and made the decision long before the issue arises, to "Die with Dignity" and has made out a "Living Will" which is signed, witnessed and notarized. It is a legal document that specifies the exact course of treatment that is to be given and also can include treatment that should not be given which will also include forbidding of food and water and the well known DNR (Do not resuscitate).

In these cases the family should have absolutely no voice in what care the dying patient receives.

And those who have made no living will? What of their wishes? Most families, friends talk about death in advance. Whether or not they want to be cremated or buried. If cremated, where the ashes are to be spread and if buried, also where.

When the case of Terry Sheivo came up, the Right to Die issue was front and center and discussed around dinner tables, in living rooms and hospitals. Some people said that her parents had it right and others sided with her husband. Whether or not you agree with the final outcome, it did bring up the conversation between family members and loved ones.

It was during that time my mother and I talked about our wishes. Mom let me know in no uncertain terms that should she end up in a similar situation we were to "pull the plug". No way did she want to hang around if she couldn't think or act for herself.

When the time comes, my instructions are clear. No matter how much I may want to hang on to her, how much I would want to hope for something to change for the better, I am to let her go. I am to respect her decision and while there is nothing written down or legally binding, it's my moral duty to obey her wishes. It is her life and death and the final decision should be hers and no one else's.

As it should be for everyone.

Learn more about this author, Kate McGee.
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