your feelings and thoughts to be released. They put themselves in the other's shoes. It's fine for the listener to add their relative experiences, but it should be done appropriately and not take the focus off of the speaker. A good listener opens their heart and waits patiently for their turn!
DON'T ASSUME
Have you ever been interrupted by someone who assumes they know what you are going to say, yet it's far beyond what you were going to say? A good listener doesn't assume. They listen, absorb, clarify with questions and comments until they understand fully what you are saying. Communication can be totally misconstrued when assumptions are made.
Listening with undivided attention and genuine interest shows we care. Resentment and detachment builds when we feel we are not heard or our thoughts and feelings don't hold meaning to others. If you don't have the availability or have too much going on at a particular time, be honest with the person and let them know you want to set aside special time to listen. This is better than listening with half an ear.
An attentive and caring listener is rewarded. They are enlightened. They are respected. They help to create closer ties. To quote Sue Patton Thoele - "Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand." How true those words are!
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