or her brown shirt when they kiss the ass of a life-sized statue of the FOOL. It's a lot easier on the Forum Of One Leader, as you can imagine!
"When I was called by the Forum Of One Leader to bring back the Good News of all that has been done for the General Good," I began my speech, "I thought of the hurricane that almost brought down this reverent stadium. Harsh winds tore at her roof. The floodwaters rose and threatened to inundate her. The Little People who used to live in the Old City flocked to her arms for succor in their time of need; and succor them she did!"
135,000 right hands rose in unison as if at a great evangelical church service and shouted in one giant voice,
"Amen!"
"And I thought of our brave troops" I continued, "who have sacrificed so much and for so long because of our freedoms! Those brave men and women who are your brothers and sisters, your husbands and wives, your aunts and uncles, your mothers and fathers; and yes! Your grandparents, too!"
The Brownies couldn't restrain themselves. Pandemonium broke out as they bounced straight up and down like on pogo sticks, their right arms thrust upwards with shouts of "Amen!" echoing throughout the Stadium.
I let them have their riot of ecstasy. After several moments I put my finger to my lips to hush them.
"So when our critics accuse us of self-serving political treachery," I said, barely above a whisper, "when our critics accuse us of self-centered political gain," I raised my voice, "when our critics accuse us of inaction, ineptitude and incompetence," I was now full throated, "I want each and every one of you to find those critics," I was yelling, "you find them in their libraries, you find them in their secular schools, you find them in their chat rooms and you ram your finger in their bony chests and tell them, all that we do is for the General Good!"
"Amen! Amen!" echoed throughout the giant structure.
"And it's all true," I was patting my brow like a great evangelist, "it's all true! Because all that we do, all that we are, is for the General Good! Because at midnight tonight, the Forum Of One Leader will don his ceremonial fighter jet jacket and forever be known by his new title, THE GENERAL GOOD!" I shouted.
135,000 Brownies took to the streets on that clear as crystal night shouting, "For The General Good! For The General Good!"
I know a few windows were broken and a few fires were set. I know I got them hot under the collar. But at least it's a dry heat!
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