by J.R. Lewis

Created on: October 08, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I Wonder If Erma Had One of THESE Days: Parenting A Teen

Today has been one of those' days.

A day where I seriously considered suicide or homicide as an alternative - it may sound amusing and I guess everyone has bad days like this, but it did not make getting though it any easier.

My oldest son has decided he'd rather move to a different state with my Mother who is a terrible enabler. She doesn't mean to be, but she can't help it. She needs to be needed. My son, I fear, who has not had such convenient services, but will be proud to take advantage of her kindnesses. This not only makes me mad but it makes me ashamed of him as well.

How could this beautiful little baby grow into such a slug that getting a job or buying his own car seems too daunting a task to do? How could my once Honor Roll child decide that hard work is not worth the efforts? I scratch my head and am left empty handed, no answers. I can only decide it is the path of least resistance that is exceptionally appealing. Why bother to work when it can be gotten for free?

I had a stunning revelation as I listened to my now adult child tell me that I was somehow lesser because I spent a great deal of his life as a homemaker, a stay-at-home Mom who did the traditional role. That I somehow took advantage of life because I depended on my husband to take care of me it made my blood run cold.

I hardly recognized this bitter boy who was pissed off at me because his Dad had promised him an allowance, but I had decided it was a bad idea. He was angry that we did not furnish his first car for him, complaining that Everyone else's parents did'.

All I could do was look out into the morning's early light at my flowers and wonder where, Oh where, did I go wrong? What the hell did I do (or did not do) to make him such an ungrateful, spoiled brat?

He confided that the reason that he did not want to college was because I wanted him to do so. He was so pleased with himself. That smug look shined as he told me that the reason he said he intended to join the military was so that I would leave him alone, wouldn't push him for an answer to "What are you going to do with your life?" That way, he had an answer, it was all the better that I did not like it.

Then, when the day came for him to follow through on the military, he backed out. Why, you ask? Because he really didn't want to do that either. He had just said that so that I would stop asking. That the military was too long a commitment, four years was a long time' and he was

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