Have we allowed our children to become complacent? Do we allow them challenges to help them grow in character and knowledge of how life works? Or have we, in a blind attempt to help them by pass the problems we faced, left them vulnerable.

All parents want to do the best they can for their children. Giving them a good start in life is our dream from the day we first hold them in our arms. It becomes the driving force in our lives. However, is giving our children all that we did not have, the best thing for them? How did we get into a position to be able to give to them anyway? It worked for us and it can work for them too.

A good example of this is found in the chrysalis of a butterfly. This is the stage when the butterfly to be is no longer a child but is not yet an adult either. It is a known fact that if you help free a butterfly from this cocoon, it will die. The reason? The butterfly needs the struggle to free its self for the life force to kick into play. When we deprive it of this struggle, it becomes complacent, sits there, and dies. Is this not the same thing we are doing to our children when we place ourselves as a barrier between them and all adversities of life?

How will they learn to cope with the setbacks in life when we are no longer there to buffer them? How will they learn the proper use of money and how to manage and save it, if we provide a steady supply to them? Where will they learn work ethics and from where will they derive the pleasure of knowing they have done well in giving a day's work for a day's wage?

All of these things are necessary to become a well-balanced adult. The old saying, "You know the worth of water when the well is dry," is a good example. How will our children ever learn the true value and worth of anything if everything is handed to them and nothing is required in return?

My Dad was financially able to buy a car for each of his children when they reached the age to drive. However, his instincts told him that we would take better care of a car that we had earned ourselves. One we had to sacrifice for and dream about owning before we ever got it. We learned valuable lessons from this. How to work and be responsible, how to save and how to choose what we did not need in order to have what we did need. These lessons have served us well in life.

There were other lessons to this effect. When we fussed and fought, he seldom took sides. Instead, he told us to work it out and learn to get along with each other. Until we did, we were allowed no other playmates. We learned that in the world there are other people who want their way as much as we want our way. This led to compromising and sharing. We learned a sense of fair play when dealing with others.

There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for our children. However, we must tread a carefully chosen path to find what is best. Allowing them to expect or demand their wishes to be granted will hurt them in life.

Dreams, goals and hard work are the enemies of complacency. When you have a goal to reach, you are more inclined to work for it if you see this is the only way to obtain it. These things made this country the great nation it is today. Not young men and women having every desire handed to them. Helping our children is a good thing, but maybe the helping should be a little more along the lines of mentoring and teaching and a little less of reaching for the checkbook.

Learn more about this author, Pamela Kay.
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