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Indeed there is great shame in the fact that a person was sexually abused. However, that shame is misplaced. It is the abuser who should be ashamed. The abused have been seriously abused beyond imagination. That which is the most intimate expression of love has been changed into shame, hurt, pain, and secret.

Should you tell your spouse that you were sexually abused. It is my belief that you should. When you are making love and you most unfortunately have a flashback, your spouse can treat you with love and understanding instead of misunderstanding that secrets cause. The abused were taught to keep it a secret. They are taught that it is shameful. What I am saying is that it is secrecy that keeps sexual abuse so prevalent in our society.

I think that the abused need to seek some help to get through their shame, anger, hurt, and hate. They need to learn to forgive themselves. Forgiving their abuser is optional at this time.

To tell your spouse is to allow your spouse to be your main support person as you heal from this horror. Your spouse married you because he loves you. Not because you are perfect. Trust your spouses love to see you through all of this.

So it is my personal opinion that this is too big for just one person to try to deal with on their own. Heal from your hurt, let your spouse be there for you. Love can be so very healing.

I wish you peace.

Learn more about this author, Renee Dawson.
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