by Ted Sherman

Created on: October 07, 2007

We love shopping in Wal-Mart, but because our local stores are no more than 60 miles from the Mexican border, things are getting a bit different on typical days when we go to the big box store. First, instead of the usual McDonald's fare at the in-store fast food joint, all of the specials are now tacos, enchiladas, frijoles and other unusual dishes. It can be a bit unsettling when the heavily-accented teenager behind the counter says, "Ya want chile sauce with your fritos?"

Now, I'm not saying that any of the employees are illegals, but if a couple of border guards would suddenly come in through the front door, about 90 percent of them would disappear out the back door. If some super-patriotic vigilantes would come in and sing, "Oh, say can you see...", the employees would all respond, "Si, Jose, can see mucho bueno." To those Wal-Mart workers, English isn't a second language, it is a yet-unlearned foreign language.

Fortunately for me, my spouse speaks fluent Spanish, and we always do well when we shop at local Wal-Marts and on trips south of the border shopping journeys. I enjoyed them until once when our very beautiful daughter, age 18 at the time, was with us. Several of the young guy vendors were smiling and making very friendly remarks to us. They obviously didn't know my spouse understood what they were saying. Later, when I asked my spouse what they had said. The translation was that they offered $50 for our daughter. Gee, those Mexican teen guys are just as horny as American teen guys, only they're too poor to make a really acceptable offer.

Despite the language differences, we still shop often at a local Wal-Mart. If you plan to do the same, just go out and learn to habla Espanol muy pocito, especially if you're a pretty young girl. On the other hand, you may not want to know what those young guys behind the counters are saying about you.

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