My husband is a father. But when exactly did he become a father? Was it thirty years ago when we first conceived? I remember his tears of joy when I told him we were pregnant. I also remember all the wonderful care he gave me as I went through nine solid months of vomiting day and night. Was that when it happened?

The day our son was born I saw Bob cry for the second time ever. I watched as he was overcome with pride and love and emotion while holding his new son. He seemed to change in so many ways right after that. He was much more serious and determined about work and life in general. He seemed to care more about us and less about himself. Was that when it happened?

Over the next six years our family grew to include three sons. Bob's weekends use to be spent riding his long sold motorcycle but were now spent backpacking with boys and babies. His time, money & energy all went to the family with little left for selfish endeavors.

Soon we added four daughters to the family through adoption. This had been my dream from the age of ten. Adoption and a large family had never been in Bob's plans. But one by one as the girls entered his life he seemed more pleased, more protective, more focused on making our family succeed, grow and flourish. I was the outgoing, outspoken visionary. Bob was the quiet, solid foundation that the family rested on and found strength from.

As our family of seven children began to hit their teen years tensions rose between Bob and I. Why wouldn't he step up and be the "bad cop" with the kids sometimes? Why did I always have to be seen as the tough parent while all the kids saw Bob as the easy going one? I was sick of feeling like I had eight children. Why didn't he grow up and act like a father.

The years have past and now we have five grandchildren. I watch Bob as our older children shower him with love and affection along with their children. I see the same pride, love and emotion in his eyes that I saw thirty years ago as he holds his family near to himself. His tears flow much more easily these days than they did back then.

Last night Bob came in from the front yard and said, "This is what it's all about." When I asked him what he meant he said he had been outside watching the grandkids run across the front lawn. He realized that this moment, with the kids grown and doing well and grandkids running wild at Papa & Nona's house, was what life was all about.

I cannot say for sure when my husband became a father. I know some might say it happened when he brought his first child into being. I would disagree. Many men bring children into this world but never give them a life. Bob didn't just bring his own into this world. He made some of the world's children his own. He loved each one of them and me with everything he had. When he got to those days where he had nothing left to give he always knew where to find the One that had the strength he needed to carry on. He never gave up. He never lost sight. He never regretted. He made my dreams and the kid's dreams his dreams. He died to himself so that we might live. If that isn't a Father then I don't know what is.

Learn more about this author, Marla Hansen.
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