We judge gays and lesbians for the same reason we judge anyone or anything else. We judge because they are different. For many people, that which is different is wrong. When people are brought up in a homogeneous environment, unless they are positively exposed to other cultures or social norms, those people will probably grow up carrying certain biases. That is the nature of humans. It is stamped into our genes. From the early tribal days, we have been taught to fear and hate those from other tribes. Their dress was different. Their looks were strange. They were not us, therefore they were dangerous.

While humans, for the most part, are not living in the same sort of tribal bands, we still have our tribes of a sort. The most obvious is family. If we saw a stranger talking to our sister or child, we would immediately be suspicious of that person. If our mother came up and introduced that stranger as your cousin Lyle, we would accept that person almost immediately. They are family, part of our tribe. As we grow older, our tribe often grows bigger. We accept others into our group. Extended family, close friends and even co-works become part of our tribe. Why? Because of perceived similarities. Perhaps they are the same religion or play the same sport. Maybe they just drive the same kind of car we do.

Let's take this a little farther along now. Gays and lesbians are still just a tiny, tiny portion of our population. It follows that very few people have a member of their "tribe" that is gay or lesbian. This makes them suspect because they are outsiders. They act different than we do, or maybe dress differently, this makes them even more strange.

This leaves us with a choice. Do we accept these strange people into our tribe or do we continue to eye them with suspicion? Can we find the similarities that will bind us together or emphasize the differences that separate us? We can choose who is accepted in our tribe, just as we can kick out those who are undesirable. Are you in or out?

Learn more about this author, Mark Murphy.
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