Temper tantrums are a normal developmental stage in an infants life, usually starting as young as 8 months of age. How a parent responds to these tantrums dictates how long they will individually last and at what age they might possibly end. Parenting skills definitely come into play here and must be consistent when dealing with tantrums. To understand this concept one must understand the developmental process of infants.

Infants arrive in this world and have a basic concept of two feelings: Comfort, and discomfort. When they are fed, warm, and dry they are comfortable. When they are hungry, soiled, or cold- they cry. Most infants (those that are not abused or neglected) learn that when they cry they are fed, cleaned, or comforted. They learn that crying provides comfort. This simple act of the only way of communicating that an infant has often sets the stage for later behaviors: Crying to get positive attention! This is not to say that parents should ignore crying, by all means attend to your child's needs. However, an infant should be given comforting attention before they feel the need to cry.

As infants develop mentally and begin to notice and respond to their external surroundings, care should be given when giving into their screams when you need to remove an object from their grasp (a true acknowledged "tantrum"). If the item is an object that could be harmful to them, it should be replaced with a safe object, or toy. Infants and toddlers have short attention spans and can be redirected rather easily. Their screams are not earning them the object for which they through the fit!

If the tantrum is based on physical needs as hunger or being tired you definitely meet the need. However, a schedule for feedings and naps would lessen the need for the child to reach the point where they felt the need to have a tantrum to have those needs met. Setting "calming" techniques for a tired child who doesn't want to give up and nap is a desirable solution for this situation. These techniques could encompass the simple act of looking at pictures, listening to quiet music, and simply stroking their forehead to induce rest.

Proactive parenting skills generally provide quality "time-in" time between parents and children, and is generally more effective than "time-out" when dealing with problem behavior.

Learn more about this author, Sherryl Thormann.
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