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Humor: Growing old

Reptile Dysfunction

I was watching a sports channel the other night and was absolutely shocked by the commercial . The ad went on and on about Reptile Dysfunction. Now I keep up to date on current events but I was totally unaware that there was such an outbreak of troubled reptiles that it would require a national media campaign to address the problem. It really made me think about what sorts of problems they could be having. Turtles that can't retract their heads? Frogs that can't jump far enough? Snakes suffering with slithering problems? And the strangest things was that there was a money back guarantee that these pills would help improve performance. It made me wonder how a single pill could fix all manner of reptile problems.

The absolutely strangest thing about the whole night was that as I prepared to sleep my wife gently touched my arm and asked if I had ever considered using that pill. You should have seen my head spinning, looking in my mind's eye for overlooked turtles, snakes, lizards wondering if the critters on my property were suffering from strange dysfunctions.

I talked to my wife about my confusion and I noticed her reaching to the side of my face. What I assumed to be a gentle caress ended up being an adjustment to my hearing aid. She smiled the next time the ad came on but I pretended not to notice. But don't you doubt I'll be talking to the doctor about a very important reptile. And that right quick!

Learn more about this author, James Unekis.
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