50 quid for goddamn flowers. I'm not cold hearted, far from it, but 50 quid for flowers is putting costs on romance which create entry levels into just being able to have a life, costs - if you choose to not put your lot in with the rich one way or another then you're gonna be all alone for a long time.

Romance is good, 50 quid for flowers is bad. As a salesman all I can do is take solace from breeding terrible heartache amongst the people to blame for all this. A new advertising concept recently formed in my mind - to make rich lonely money-minded goons think they can buy love, sex and romance instantly.

You sell them all manner of products related to love, whether it's dating or a car, and you make em pay through the nose. It makes you feel good about how unromantic the world is because of them. No wonder the flowers are 50 quid. Whoever put that price on it felt the same way I do. A strange hellish almost apocalyptic inversion of 'catch 22'.

I found a florist online who sells black roses. The gold and platinum ones I can understand. A bit more conceited than romantic, but black - that's just morbid. Apart from very dark crimes I can see no real reason for anyone to have genuine call (in their own warped mind) for a black rose. Blue ones too are a bit worrying if you've ever watched any David Lynch movies.

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