You know what? I had said I wouldn't cry even though I thought I eventually would, so I took a moment to wait for the storm that never came. I never even frowned; I laughed instead. You'd be hard pressed to find another woman like me. I hit the ground running with everything I have, which is usually a hell of a lot of heart and determination and not much else.

This time, for no apparent reason, I held back. I didn't give you every little part of me. And Thank God because you would never deserve it. You are completely too cold to know how to love a hot blooded, passionate woman like me properly. You use a thousand and one clichs to keep from saying anything real. And I don't feel bad at all about being given my freedom back, hallelujah!
Your mental picture of me is so far off base that I cannot even be offended. It's not that I don't want a relationship; I just don't want YOU anymore. Why would I ever desire to have a lover who can't even seem to express the emotion? You're damn straight I was trying to walk away; hell, I broke into a run there a few times. All I ever wanted you to be was emotionally available. It's pathetic that you don't even have the capacity to be there for support. My cats give better feedback. I'm pretty sure they know me better and care about me more than you ever did too.
Also, realize everything I ever said to you I meant at the time, even when those things contradicted each other at the end of the day. I loved you as much as I hated you. I'm lucky that that's over. Because the apathy is so much more comforting than either. I even TRIED to make myself feel something, but no remorse came, no anger. Definitely no regret.
I just felt sorry for you.
I looked around myself and felt wonderful about who I am and everything I have been blessed with. It was like a gray and dirty shroud had fallen from my eyes. I'm done with your sickness; I don't want to be infected anymore. The only thing that was wrong with me for days that became weeks that became an eternity was you. I'm ecstatic that I don't have your virus anymore; you were tearing my whole self into bloody ribbons with an innocent smile on your lying face.
You're a vague memory already half forgotten and I am a better person for it.

You were the worst "relationship" I ever had.

Learn more about this author, Marcia Middleton.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Short stories: Walking out on your spouse?
We want to hear your view. Write now!