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Humor: Wal-Mart

Ive encountered some pretty interesting things when it comes to Wal-Mart and rednecks. Really, it breaks down to people rather than things but in these parts, some people ARE things (if you know what I mean). A few weeks ago my friend and I had to go to Wal-Mart, I forget why now, but that is irrelevant. We were at the Pepsi machine outside prior to entering Fancy World, about to quench our thirst with Mtn Dew. Just as my 12 oz of sugar & caffeine came funneling down, I hear people. But these people aren't just your normal passers-by, nor were they really passers-by at this point. It's more like, they're on the other side of the parking lot and we can hear them loud and clear.

Out of an old beat-up Chevy come three middle-agers two males & one female (it appeared so anyway, but again, 'round here ya never know whats hiding behind the clothes). I like Wal-Mart, dont get me wrong, it meets your general needs at your everyday low-prices, however, at the same time, it's hard to overlook the typical, regular, shoppers & their classlessness. Ive actually come up with a name for these people .. I like to call them NASCAR (Not Actually Sane (but) Certainly A Redneck.

I hate to generalize but it's so easy to do in situations like these. So, to get back to these NASCARs on this particular day (kind of ironic, since one of them was wearing a Nascar shirt) the others were adorned in their favorite flannel and/or denim overalls (again, I dont care what anyone wears but just trying to provide as much detail as possible so you, the reader, can feel as if you were there on that day and boy, do you wish you were). I really dont think they were intoxicated, since it was around dinner-time but they had the same loud, obnoxious tendencies as drunk people do. Pushing eachother around, making jokes that really weren't jokes because quite honestly, their lack of teeth made it hard to really understand anything they were saying (unless, of course, you speak NASCAR, which I don't apparently). Once inside, however, I did pick up on one thing. The two men were trying on big, straw hats in the women's section and one said to the other "c'mere hillbilly and try this one on." And of course NASCAR2 ran away as NASCAR1 tried to put the hat on his head. I dont really know why he ran away, though, because he was just sporting one with a pretty pink flower.
On Wal-Mart's outside, I noticed an array of RVs parked, esentially using Wal-Mart as an "overnight spot." Did I miss the story about Wal-Mart


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Humor: Wal-Mart

  • 1 of 21

    by Clarena Wise

    When I lived in North Carolina, Wal Mart was the "place to be". Everyone shops there. It is a place where you catch

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  • 2 of 21

    by Patricia Parker

    Its just so fortunate that Sam Walton was the driving force behind "Wal-Mart," because Wal-Mart is just so darn Americana.

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  • 3 of 21

    by Michael Harrison

    I took a part-time job at WalMart during the holidays, talk about your momentary lapse of reason. It was seasonal, figured

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  • 4 of 21

    by S. Murray

    Walmart, the name alone brings a shiver to my spine. I am both repelled and exhilerated at the very thought of my next trip

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  • 5 of 21

    by Ted Sherman

    We love shopping in Wal-Mart, but because our local stores are no more than 60 miles from the Mexican border, things are

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Humor: Wal-Mart

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