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I have been divorced for four years, I am 27. I have passed disappointed and am standing in the middle of, what I call, dry land. I call it that because though I am young and have my entire life ahead of me yet I feel as I have already lived an entire life already. I am a divorced single Mother. I am balancing kindergarten with the corporate world. I am juggling housework and being football mom with working mom. I am tired. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's even though I know I will spend the rest of my life having to thrive just to make ends meat. Ah, but the upside to standing in dry land! I have perspective, I am ahead of my peers in many aspects. By my living life faster than they I no longer concern myself with the fairytale of white picket fences and husbands that come home in time for family dinner and to lend a helping hand around the house and with the children. I have graduated to the class of woman that know if we want anything done, we will do it ourselves. I have realized my strength, my independence and the liberating feeling of knowing my tears won't be wasted on any man. My tears are mine again, to use as I feel necessary. I choose to use them for joy in watching my son grow, my friends succeed, and successes I have. I am in a relationship but I already know that unless he gets a bit more secure and honest with himself and me that we won't work out. I say that easily to my friends, and with their surprise looks, they ask if that bothers me. Will I be disappointed if yet another relationship fails, my answer is a resounding NO! I will be that woman that yells, "I HAVE LOVE, LOVE DOESN'T HAVE ME!". I refuse to go back to being who I was when I was married. I will not be doing all the giving and nurturing. I will have my opinions and interests. I will not be talked down to because they are not shared. They key to having this I have found is to find someone with either the same interests and opinions as I or to find someone that has the ability to have his own but respect mine. Apparently neither is available to me as I keep getting those men that need to be right in every debate, the men that will talk about their golf game relentlessly without giving my story of the latest tale from work or football game a second thought. Their word is the final word as to how we spend our free time. I will be perfectly content with being alone the rest of my life, I have given this quite a bit of thought. Although I wouldn't have a companion to talk to on a regular basis, it offers me an opportunity to seek out new friends. I may not be able to depend on that second income, but it gives my the courage to find alternate ways to expand my income, such as writing or starting a home based business. And even if I spend the rest of my life without sharing my bed, I don't have to share my bed. I don't have to consult with anyone if I feel like Mexican food for dinner. I don't have to worry about someone else's feelings if my parents decide to visit with me for months a time, as they do live several states over. There are so many other things that I consider benefits of being on dry land. I know I should be a more disappointed because my life didn't end up the way I envisioned, but instead I build strength and resilience.

Learn more about this author, Diane Danson.
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