Whoever coined the phrase, "New York is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there," clearly has never been a visitor here. In fact, the city treats its residents far better than its guests.

The average visitor must surely find the average New Yorker to be completely inscrutable. We don't go out of our way to smile, or to be helpful, or to impart the secrets that make New York such a wonderful place for those of us in the know. This is not to say that a New Yorker will not help you if you need help, but you have to ask for it. We generally disdain unsolicited help, so we do unto others as we would have others do unto us. Recall the macho pride that prevented your dad from stopping to ask directions on those long family road trips, and you'll soon get the idea.

I digress. New York is an expensive place to live, but an even more expensive place to visit. Still, there are plenty of New York moments to be had for very little money. This is important, because your hotel room itself will cost you about a year's salary.

Watch
Remember, it's best not to make eye contact, so hide behind a pair of Sofia Laurens. Look out for Broadway stars beginning around 10 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday, when the shows start to let out. Scope rich people wherever upscale restaurants are clustered, such as the Time-Warner Center on Columbus Circle. Peer discreetly over your newspaper at the characters roaming Central Park. Listen in on a lover's quarrel at a coffee shop in the Village. For heavens sake, don't ask for autographs, except from the Broadway stars.

Walk
It may seem like a monolith, but New York is really a collection of extremely small towns. Every 5 block span is considered by its natives to be a different neighborhood with its own culture and flavor. New York has a quirky fondness for specialized shopping districts, so it is possible to stumble upon a street of shops selling nothing but socks, lamps, upholstery, buttons, or pickles. Handy, if you're in the market for socks, lamps, upholstery, buttons, or pickles, and feel the need to comparison shop. Hit a flea market or a street fair any summer or fall weekend. Walk down a side street and marvel at the stately brownstones that used to be private residences, and the ones that still are. When you get tired, take the subway or treat yourself to a quick cab ride.

Eat
Visit a different culinary region every night in one of New York's three Indian districts (East 6th Street, Lexington Avenue, and Jackson Heights, Queens), two Chinatowns (lower Manhattan, and Flushing, Queens), Little Korea (West 30s), and Little Italy (cheek-by-jowl with Manhattan's Chinatown). Buy provisions at one of the city's weekly farmer's markets. Have meal at a fancy restaurant at lunchtime, when the prices are easier to swallow and you're more likely to get a reservation.

Here's something they don't tell you out west: the pizza in New York is better than the pizza in Italy. Walk into any pizzeria in the city, order up a slice and a soda, and see for yourself whether it's not a perfect wafer of crispy crust, tangy sauce, and just the right touch of bubbling cheese. Did I mention New Yorkers are very opinionated?

Pose
Pretend you live here. No one will be the wiser. Remember, women in Indian sarees or traditional African headgear are a more common sight in New York than you in your Bermuda shorts and fanny pack. Just relax, and you'll blend right in.

Learn more about this author, PJF.
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