If you relish your freedom and enjoy having control over the path your day takes, then I advise you to never accept a job in a call center. Have you ever read 'The Secret'? I have, and it's all about how if you think positive, then positive forces will be magnetically drawn to your life. As a call center representative, who has been working in an inbound call center consecutively for the last four years, I will be the first to tell you this is a lot of wishful thinking that won't get you anywhere, especially when you have a two foot long leash for eight hours a day and a lot of angry callers.

Coming into work in the morning I generally give myself a pep talk. I tell myself things like, "No matter what you're going to remember what these people say to you is irrelevant to your current happiness" and "I will be the most courteous, polite representative these people have ever talked to." These thoughts have generally dissipated within the first hour.

Everyone has called into a call center at one point, but if you have never worked at a call center then you may not know proper phone etiquette. It's okay, we don't want you to beat yourself up about it, but maybe if you could spread the following messages to your fellow peers:

To begin, I'd like to point out that I'm not your friend. I don't want to hear your dumb jokes and I have no interest in small talk. Anything, such as the weather, your divorce or how you just got diagnosed with cancer, is not necessary information for me to complete the call, and so I don't want to hear it. My goal during our conversation is to get you off the phone as fast as possible.

You may think this is cold-hearted and not 'customer-friendly', well you may be right, but perhaps you could shed some empathy in my direction. I have specific goals to meet, set by my managers, and they include talk time, AUX time and ACW time (AUX time being the limited time granted for bathroom breaks, and ACW time being the limited time I'm granted to vent after you get off my phone line). Not to mention this isn't the mental health hot line or your Auntie Edna's line. Please do not ask me where I'm at or how the weather is over here; in all actuality if you ask 'how are you' I get a little peeved because all I want, once again, is to get your problem solved so I don't have to talk to you any longer than necessary.

Most importantly, I know some of you may think that 'the customer is always right', and as long as you don't give up we will. Well, I have some bad news for you. You're wrong, and no, I'm not going to change my mind if you just yell a little longer. Want to talk to my supervisor? Fine, she's a bigger bitch than me, let me get her.

Seriously though, I've been cussed out by everyone from a ninety year old lady in a nursing home to a deaf nineteen year old. It's as if people suddenly throw all basic etiquette laws out the window when they call in to a call center. I don't think there's a curse word you can call me, that I haven't already been called today, and those people still didn't get what they wanted. All they got was high blood pressure from screaming into my ear (which is starting to lose its' hearing).

I understand you have plenty of excuses, such as "I didn't get the bill", but you know what? It doesn't matter if you didn't get the bill. If you want, file a complaint with the post office. The main point is you know you owe us money every month, so pay it. Strong point, eh?

So next time you call into your local call center, please remember that no' really does mean no', we aren't your personal punching bags and we don't want to hear what happened to you last Friday when you visited your Cousin Eddy.

Learn more about this author, Ashley Nuckles.
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