4 of 20

Write now Article Tools

My fiance and I were together for a year before he proposed to me. We were engaged for a full year after that, with the wedding date set for another year out. We were enjoying our long engagement - there was no rush, no pre-wedding stress that turns normal brides into bridezillas - just the happy anticipation and excitement for the following summer when we would become husband and wife.

My fiance was a few years my junior, and while he was still in school, I was very established in my career. My fiance was also from Minnesota, while I was a native San Diegan. We knew that there would be some struggles ahead related to where we would eventually live, when we would have kids, etc. Many of these topics came up repeatedly, and were discussed to death. These conversations would often end with both of us feeling upset and confused. But at the time, the unresolved issues did not diminish our feelings for one another. We were just trying to sort stuff out. Together we enrolled in couples counseling, and after our second session, the counselor suggested that we perhaps postpone the wedding until he had a clearer idea of where he was going to transfer to college. His dream was to attend Notre Dame. Mine was not - I was scared that I wouldn't be able to find a job, that I would be so far from friends and family while he was studying, and that I wouldn't be able to adapt to the cold winter weather.

After our second session with the couples' counselor, my fiance called off the wedding and ended the relationship. This is the hardest thing that I have had to go through, but it is also a learning experience for me, and I hope that others can benefit from this as well.

Tips for the Guy: If you called off the wedding and the split was amicable (no cheating, abuse, etc.) do not push for the ring back immediately. The ring is an outward symbol of an upcoming marriage, and the absence of this ring on your ex's finger will surely prompt inquiries from her coworkers and friends. There is nothing worse than being asked "Where's your ring? Is everything ok?" when you are NOT ready to share your private pain with others. Give this woman that you once loved enough to promise your life to the time she may need to accept your decision and come to terms with it. Eventually the ring will come off, and she will be able to field the questions gracefully and maturely.

Tips for the Gal:

Calling the Vendors: This is a painful, painful part of the process. Typically it is the bride who has been emailing

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about How to cope when your wedding gets cancelled?
We want to hear your view. Write now!