When speaking with couples who married years ago, you will almost always hear about how great it was. How the days and weeks and months leading up to that wonderful day were filled with happiness and anticipation. However, if you ask somebody who married less than five years ago, you will likely get a much different answer. Many such couples can only remember the intense stress that "The Big Day" put onto their relationship.

When you agree to get married, hundreds of expectations-both emotionally and financially-are put upon you instantly, which is something that many young couples don't know about. The couple is "supposed" to sit down on numerous occasions to figure out who will pay for what, what colors to have, what to wear, where to have it, whether to have food or not, whether to have alcohol or not, who to invite, when to have it, and thousands of other little details. This alone can add frustration, because not everybody likes dealing with minutiae.

Young couples who were getting along fairly well before getting engaged suddenly realize that they have a thousand of expenses to cover, which is likely the #1 cause of stress in this nation. Money issues are a fast way to get just about any couple to start re-thinking the idea of getting married!

Any couple deciding to get married only needs a couple of weeks to figure out what all the problems springing up are. What we need help with is knowing what to DO about those problems. So many people think that there is no way to get married without dealing with all of the stress. Well, that's not true. Here are a few tips to help you relieve the stress in your up-coming marriage:

1) Opt for a longer engagement. Trying to figure out all of the little details in six short months between family, work, and still having a relationship is incredibly stressful. Getting married 9-12 months from the time of engagement allows you to take time for yourself, and slowly but surely work on that mountain of wedding planning.

2) Make sure you go on dates-with NO wedding talk! Remember, you are not in this relationship because you're getting married. You're getting married because you're in this relationship. It's important to take time just the two of you to remember just why it is that you want to get married in the first place.

3) Ask for help! There are countless people around you who would LOVE to help you out, but don't want to intrude on your planning. If you want or need help, ask for it. You might be surprised at the amount of people that will come out of the woodwork!

4) Combine work with play. A pitfall for so many a couple during wedding planning is to think that they have to work with military precision, and cannot have any fun. Well, where that notion came from, I've no clue! Making the planning fun heightens the anticipation and eagerness for the big day itself, and will set a fine foundation for the marriage itself. Think about what makes you happy more than what "should" happen. Laugh and make cute little jokes that won't offend anyone. Better yet, create a small inside joke just between the two of you to incorporate into the ceremony! Just make it fun. This is a HAPPY day!

Congratulations to all who are, or will be, married! Don't ever stop knowing that your partner is a blessing in your life.

Learn more about this author, Leigh Sanders.
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