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Aging is something that no one can really prepare for. You could try, but what you expect will in most cases elude you. I have known this for a long, long time. Some say that with age comes wisdom, I'm still waiting for that proverb to materialize. The hell with it, I'll coin my own proverb - "With age comes more questions more troubling than the ones that preceded it." Excuse me for a moment, my punk neighbours have their music on too loud. Things didn't used to be like this. In my day we showed respect and reverence for those older than us. They had seen more, experienced more, thought more, dealt with more and swore at more things than we could ever have imagined. These days, when the kids pass you on the street they laugh at your receding hairline, laboured gait, and confused aura. I never in my most vivid imaginings could have forseen a day when I would be the old fart glowering at the young punks. Times have changed. I'll start at the beginning.

I was born in the olden days. An age of self-reliance, hard work, and Ataris. Gerald Ford was president, Rocky was being released into theaters, and Iran was still under the control the Shah, until he blew it and left us with a bunch of pious blowhards. Yes, I know like it seems decades ago, but 1976 was in my opinion a golden age of peace and harmony. Everyone in the world, all 4.5 billion of them, knew each other by name. Times have changed so much, and in my surly 31 year-old opinion, not for the better.
Kids these days are all about their cell phones and i-pods. Trying to explain you used to listen to music when you were young by something called 'audio tapes' and the result is a open mouthed stare of astonishment. Just a second, my i-pod just recharged. But anyway, instead of the grand old classic called Star Wars, these punks have something called Lord of the Rings. I have just one comment about that - Star Wars was written and conceived in the 1970's. When the hell was Lord of the Rings written? Exactly, the older the better.
In conclusion, dealing with the unstoppable passage of time is not always easy. For instance, instead of being able to jog 4 miles when I was younger, I am now chastised and humbled to find that I can barely pull off 3. After a night of drinking I now have to deal with a massive hangover, not just a big one like when I was younger. And the most astonishing complaint I have is that these little punks nowadays will not even give up their seat on the bus to an confused and disoriented elder like me. What kind of world are we turning into?

Learn more about this author, Joseph Broadworth.
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