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First, know that it is not your fault. Your family member's addiction is a result of their own bad choices. You did not cause this. They are not addicts because you weren't loving enough as a mother, or because you were too tough on them as a father. They are not addicted because they can not cope with you as their son or daughter. I am the daughter of a drug addict. His drug of choice happened to be heroine, although his addiction was not limited to that. My father spent most of my life in prison. Although his arrest record will not show charges related to drugs of any kind, his record tells a story of just how far an addict will go to obtain that fix.

Second, you can not control the addiction. You can throw away the drugs, you can dump the alcohol down the drain, you can hide their money. Do all of these things, to no avail, they will find a way. My fathers arrest record will show burglary, robbery, auto theft, and assault... all crimes committed in an attempt to gain his drugs, or money to buy them with.
Third, you can not make them get help. The abuser must want recovery. Usually they must hit rock bottom before receiving help. Also, don't be surprised or discouraged if your family member does receive help and later relapses. A majority of rehabilitated addicts do, this means they are not committed enough to it. Also remember that during recovery the addict is dealing with an abundance of physical, and emotional trauma, including anger,anxiety, and intolerance. They may also feel lonely as most of their peers are also drug users, and to remain clean they must separate from those people.
My father has never recovered. He is still an addict to this day. But there are ways to cope with this. You can go to a counselor, or better yet for me join a support group. You can attend AA and NA meetings as well, even if you are not an addict there are many others there who attend simply because addiction has touched them as well. It is helpful to be around others who can understand what you are going through, because it is impossible for someone on the outside of this problem to understand. There is also a wealth of information on the web. I found the COAF.org site especially helpful. Also keeping a journal of my feelings has been of some comfort to me.
Remember you didn't cause this addiction, they did and they have to help themselves. When they decide they want to stop, be encouraging, especially when you see they are headed for relapse. Love them, even if they can't love you back.

Learn more about this author, Jessica Carnathan.
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