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I hate this place, if there was one thing that I wish I did different in my life it would have been to wait. Wait and suffer it out, that would have been much better than being stuck here. I am in Space. Space the where you go after you are killed. There is a difference between dieing and being killed. When you die, you either go to Heaven or Hell because it was your time to go. If you were killed either by suicide, murder, or fatal accident, then you go to Space. Once in Space you wait until it was your time to naturally die.

Space does have its advantages though. They give you your report card, kind of like a record of all your good and bad deeds. If you break even or have more good than bad then you make it to Heaven. If your scale tips the other way then you go, the other way. Lucky for all the sinners who make it to Space they have a sort of rehab clinic where you can do good deeds and win good points. The down side is that if you are going to Heaven, or you don't want to bother with rehab, then you get a task.
They don't give you tasks like 'you now are a gardian angel' or 'wash the dishes for a week'. They give you the infinity tasks, like counting all the grains of rice in a 100 pound bag, but every time you take a grain out the number of grains in the bag change. It is impossible to complete the tasks.
All you do is wait, day in, day out, except that they don't keep time in Space. Everything is always the same, nothing changes except your emotions. You turn into a zombie. Day and night are a blur of confusing feelings and color, no mater how hard you try you can not do anything or get anywhere. It is true death.
I got here because I was killed, well, I killed myself. I had nothing left to live for, everyone else was sent here too, except that you are not allowed to see anyone you know in Space. I jumped off the Peaterson Falls Bridge, two hundred feet of sheer terror. Every moment that I fell I suddenly wished that I had not jumped, it was as if I knew what was ahead of me. There was no so called moment where my life flashed before my eyes, just water, then I was on a train. They said we were going to Space and that I would have to stay there for a while before I got to go to where ever I was going. No all there is, is nothing. I no longer feel for there is nothing to feel, Space is all there is and I could swear that it actually was Hell, except that they say that Hell is much worse.
I know that Clair, Robert, and Mandy are all going to Heaven. They seemed to have never done a wrong thing in their life, except when they adopted me it seemed. My parents left me when I was seven and Clair and Robert picked me up three days later from the Home. They had a other daughter named Mandy and all i ever did was be mean, cause trouble, and be horrible to them. But through it all I ended up calling the mom and dad and I love them all so much, they never gave up on me, not ever. But they went out fishing with a friend, but I didn't want to go, the boat capsized, they never fount the bodies. I had no one else so I decided to go join them.
If I could tell everyone else on the earth it would be that nothing could be worse than Space and it would be better to be miserable down there than up here.
I miss life, but oh well, I guess that I better get back to counting rice.

Learn more about this author, Jackie St.Clair.
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