I'm a survivor. Livestrong. "It's good they caught it early, you should be happy." That's easy for someone to say who doesn't have this diagnosis - cancer. That's easy for someone who hasn't watched family members and friends die from this disease, even after surgery, years of fighting it, numerous treatments of chemo and/or radiation, races for a cure, yellow, pink or teal rubber bracelets and all that. You really do think, Why me?

In my case I have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. At the time of this writing I have had surgery to remove a tumor the size of a sweet potato. I am still waiting for a determination of the type and stage of cancer, before beginning chemotherapy. My doctors are positive about my prognosis, but even if my doctors did get it all this time, the big C will always be lurking in the shadows of my happy thoughts...Will it come back?

Then you wonder how you can prevent it from coming back. If I eat this type of diet will it be more likely to come back than if I eat that type of diet? Or is it strictly a result of which end of the gene pool I emerged from? How are some people able to beat the odds when they are at worse stages of this disease than others? Is it positive thought, or are there other factors involved that are not being addressed? That is the essential struggle with this disease, there is not a single cure, everyone who gets it gets it at a different stage, or gets a different type, and there are variances in tolerance and response to the treatments offered. Furthermore with ovarian cancer, many of the symptoms are vague and mimic digestive illnesses. So by the time a woman is correctly diagnosed she may be in more advanced stages of the illness.

So how do you accept this diagnosis? For me it was not easy, but do I have a choice. It takes a while to sink in and for you to say out loud, "I have cancer." It takes strength to tell others, because you don't want their pity. There is hope when you look in your husband's or friend's eyes, or you hear the stories of others like you who have not had a recurrence in 15 years. You re-evaluate your life, when you are suddenly faced with a possible 5 year survival rate. I'm too young I'm only 40, you think to yourself, when just a few months ago friends were sending you over-the-hill birthday cards. Then you do research and find children and young adults in more progressed stages of the disease than you and they still manage to laugh and smile. And you realize that today is the gift, and you have the choice to accept it with grace and gratitude, or dwell on all the what-ifs and could-have-beens.

Learn more about this author, Susan Schlatholt.
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