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Humor: School

School starts on Monday

Four of the nicest words in the English Language has to be, "School starts on Monday." This year I have three little blessings to doll up and kick out the door. Then for four and a half hours I'm going to luxuriate in the company of only one child. The almost two year old. The one man demolition army.

I can live with that. Cheerfully in fact, because right now I have the Tower of Babel howling behind my ear every day with the "Mom! She kicked me!" "Mom! He won't let me watch!" "Mom! They won't let me play with them!" and the screams when one child has just belted, slighted, insulted or ignored another.

Yep, come 9:05 Monday morning I'm going to be kicking my heels in joy while watching the first time kindergarten parents sobbing into their Starbucks.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm not the most tenderhearted or emotional of parents. I have always enjoyed the first day of school. I've never been one to stand around looking longingly at my sweet little five year old, gently weeping as he or she went to school for the first time. I've been that one parent waving cheerfully "Have a nice day honey, see you later" and walking out with a huge grin my face.

In fact, this year the school will be hosting a Boo-Hoo Breakfast for the parents of kindergartners, trying to soften the blow I guess. I walked into the office after I received the invitation and said to the school secretary, "Hey Linda, I'm not going to be attending the Boo-Hoo breakfast but I'll RSVP happily for the "Hap-Hap Happy Hour." Apparently they're not hosting one of those.

As happy as I am to leave my kids with their teachers, they are always glad to see the back of me as well. Out of three children placed cheerfully into school, not one of them has played the clingy child game. Not one has shed a tear or even whined. They are waving just as cheerfully to me as I'm waving to them.

I suppose if I was a good mother with proper sensibilities I would be a little upset about that. After all, isn't it a little bit of an insult to have your child eager to get away from you that first time, without even the slightest sniff or tear.

However I find that I can bear up very nicely thank you. I don't take it personally as I know that they love to make new friends and after all, how can one prematurely aged, dried up old stick of a mother compare with all the promised delights of twenty five new children.

Picking them up that first day is always a shock though. Where did the time go? How could four hours pass


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Humor: School

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