Channel Button

There are 28 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #13 by Helium's members.

Creative Writing   >

Humor

Humor: School

School starts on Monday

Four of the nicest words in the English Language has to be, "School starts on Monday." This year I have three little blessings to doll up and kick out the door. Then for four and a half hours I'm going to luxuriate in the company of only one child. The almost two year old. The one man demolition army.

I can live with that. Cheerfully in fact, because right now I have the Tower of Babel howling behind my ear every day with the "Mom! She kicked me!" "Mom! He won't let me watch!" "Mom! They won't let me play with them!" and the screams when one child has just belted, slighted, insulted or ignored another.

Yep, come 9:05 Monday morning I'm going to be kicking my heels in joy while watching the first time kindergarten parents sobbing into their Starbucks.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm not the most tenderhearted or emotional of parents. I have always enjoyed the first day of school. I've never been one to stand around looking longingly at my sweet little five year old, gently weeping as he or she went to school for the first time. I've been that one parent waving cheerfully "Have a nice day honey, see you later" and walking out with a huge grin my face.

In fact, this year the school will be hosting a Boo-Hoo Breakfast for the parents of kindergartners, trying to soften the blow I guess. I walked into the office after I received the invitation and said to the school secretary, "Hey Linda, I'm not going to be attending the Boo-Hoo breakfast but I'll RSVP happily for the "Hap-Hap Happy Hour." Apparently they're not hosting one of those.

As happy as I am to leave my kids with their teachers, they are always glad to see the back of me as well. Out of three children placed cheerfully into school, not one of them has played the clingy child game. Not one has shed a tear or even whined. They are waving just as cheerfully to me as I'm waving to them.

I suppose if I was a good mother with proper sensibilities I would be a little upset about that. After all, isn't it a little bit of an insult to have your child eager to get away from you that first time, without even the slightest sniff or tear.

However I find that I can bear up very nicely thank you. I don't take it personally as I know that they love to make new friends and after all, how can one prematurely aged, dried up old stick of a mother compare with all the promised delights of twenty five new children.

Picking them up that first day is always a shock though. Where


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Humor: School

  • 1 of 28

    by Southwind

    My schooling began at 8:30 on the morning of September 7th, 1944. My education began at recess a couple of hours lat... read more

  • 2 of 28

    by Karen Williams

    If Only They'd Had Home School Back Then Each year as autumn arrives, I experience repressed memories of seventh g... read more

  • by George Dimitriadis

    "How can I teach mathematical probability?" I reflected as I entered the classroom. I moved my chair from behind the... read more

  • 4 of 28

    by Tom Koecke

    I was telling my adult daughter how much easier school was when she attended school than when I attended school. I to... read more

  • 5 of 28

    by Paul Galloway

    An incident from my early childhood underscored in my mind the importance of clear communication and the value o... read more

View All Articles on:
Humor: School

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: School?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

What do you know about?
  • Tell us! Get published today.
  • Reach millions.
  • Many ways to earn.
Join Helium Today

Already a member? Log in.

177971

Featured Partner

Nature's Voice Our Choice

Nature's Voice Our Choice has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse Nature's...more

What is Helium? | User Guide | Community | Link to Helium | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA