Following the stellar releases of the Apple iPhone, Nintendo Wii, and other forms of high technology, word has leaked from Ganymedes Laboratories that the next must-have offering will be so in demand, even the product will wait in line to buy itself.

In a press release Tuesday, Ganymedes founder Steve Satoru-Tretton confirmed the rumors and announced that the new product, currently called simply an "i," should be on store shelves around Thanksgiving 2007.

However, due to expected delays and widespread shortages, stores are already devising complex methods to fairly distribute the few which will be available.

For many stores, this includes selling tickets to techo-elite geeks and middle-aged mothers desperate for their children's approval. Those receiving winning tickets receive the chance to compete in a Mortal Kombat-style tournament to the death to be broadcast on pay-per-view. Winner gets one i.

Such tickets are currently in short supply except on e-Bay, where they are selling for an average of $1,050.

Despite the hype, details are sketchy on what the i will actually do. Top analyst Jason Grimes expects it will be "some sort of HD gaming phone/camera/Blu-Ray thingamajigger that will, like, maybe brush your teeth or some shit."

Industry experts go on to point out that the one announced task, waiting for itself, is already accomplished by several existing gadgets including the iWait, the dial-up modem and bottled ketchup.

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