by Beth Nicastro

Created on: October 01, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2010

I believe in my heart that knowing a prenatal diagnosis can shake a mother to her core but also help prepare her for the reality that she needs to live with.

As a nurse for 20 years, I have seen many babies born healthy and with defects of many levels. Caring for oneself and your new baby takes enormous energy, patience and knowledge. If a mother is diagnosed, for example, with a congenital problem at the 18-20 week ultrasound, she and her partner need information and referrals about the choices they have. Shock, numbness, anger and fear are common reactions after hearing such overwhelming news. If the outcome is fatal, the family needs the opportunity to grieve the potential loss and even celebrate the present life. Not knowing of a problem could mislead the family and create false hope. By knowing, every minute of pregnancy can be genuinely appreciated.

A couple's act of creation may result in a healthy baby boy or girl or a beautiful child with problems. Having ultrasounds and triple marker screens provide information to women about their pregnancy. Oftentimes the parents will question their own values and beliefs after receiving a troubling diagnosis and are then forced to make a choice. Years ago parents did not have the medical technology and problems were not detected until after birth. Sadly, many parents' needs to grieve and cope were not addressed properly. Although far from perfect the situation for devastated parents is improving today with bereavement programs and perinatal hospices.

Yes, dreams can be shattered and the parents may feel robbed and devastated. Amidst this emotional turmoil the mother cannot neglect her physical needs. Furthermore her emotional needs will be even greater. The mother must rely on her present coping skills or learn new ones. Support systems can take a variety of forms. Couple counseling can be highly beneficial when faced with a fatal or uncertain prenatal diagnosis. In addition, family, friends, and support groups may prove invaluable. When I was told of my daughter's diagnosis of anencephaly at 20 weeks, I received close monitoring by my obstetrician including weekly ultrasounds. This was done for medical reasons but seeing her on the screen helped foster a closer bond to her. Also I was instructed to monitor her movements and listened to her fetal heart rate daily. This was a very precious time that I spent bonding with my daughter.
I sensed her presence and life within me. This first pregnancy was a bittersweet

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