Phil Wenger was a regular guy.

His character flaws were few, his idiosyncrasies not worth mentioning. His reports were on time, his desk in order. Each file was labeled properly, each drawer kept tidy. He was neither the topic of discussion in the boardroom, nor the ladies lounge. During any sort of corporate downsizing, he consistently managed to fly under the radar.

He was, in essence, irrelevant.

We collectively pitied him. He had no wife or children, no lover, not even a dog. He was the go-to guy for all things pop culture, and for that, he was considered mostly likeable. We imagined he knew so much about television because he spent a great deal of his life in front of one. And while the rest of us dreamed of moving on professionally, we knew Phil did not. He was a lifer. And therefore, in the eyes of most who knew him, a loser.

One morning, a memo is delivered to our department outlining a merger about to take place with our company. The company we are to merge with is a leader in Information Systems. There is a brief mention of the possibility of restructuring the entire MIS department, after the merger. Blah, blah, blah. Same old corporate bullshit as always. None of us thought much of the memo. In the field of information technology, there were mergers everyday. But Phil became very alarmed. Very alarmed, indeed.

It wasn't even nine o'clock in the morning when we heard a commotion. And I have to admit, our department is made up mostly of men, but we can gossip worse than a bunch of girls. We counted heads, wondering who could be behind the closed door of our boss, Mitch's, office. Don, Jim, Mike, Arnie, Me. The only one missing was Wenger.

And then, the door swung open, and a naked Phil sprung forth. And believe me when I tell you -nothing can prepare you for this kind of display. Seeing a nude coworker streak through your office is like seeing Bigfoot do the Charleston. Your brain just cannot make sense of such things. I honestly don't know if I'll ever fully recover from the sight of it.

We later heard from Mitch that the nudity came about as a result of a tantrum, of sorts. When Mitch finally admitted to him that no one's job could be guaranteed after the merger, Phil began to unravel. First, he untied his tie and removed it theatrically. Then, we're guessing, this felt good to him, because along went the jacket and the dress shirt, leaving him in wife-beater and dress pants. When the belt

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