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Over the years, I have learned that it is possible to like someone and still not respect their leadership; George Bush often seems likable as a person, but has shown few real leadership skills. It is equally possible to dislike someone and still have great respect for them; I encountered this often during my military career. Many of my officers and NCO's were men I wouldn't want to sit down to dinner with, but I never questioned their orders or direction because I had seen that they were capable leaders.

The issue of whether it's important for your employees to like you is one all managers struggle with at some point in their career. We all have a natural desire to have people like us, but there are times when that desire comes into direct conflict with our ability to get the job done.

The question of likability is a tricky one; in the current race for President candidates often score high in likability but low in their perceived abilities. In business the question is just as hard to nail down to a simple yes or no, but I lean more toward no. It is good if your employees like you, and can definitely be beneficial, but it is far more important that they respect you as a person and as a leader.

There is also more risk in doing the things that it often takes for employees to like you. Some will attempt to take advantage of you, often without even realizing it. And being friends with your employees can be disastrous. It opens you up to accusations of favoritism, even if no such favoritism exists, and can ruin a friendship because you will sometimes overcompensate and be harder on those you are friends with.

This is also where the need to balance respect and likability comes in. The adage "it is better to be feared than loved" is an extreme that rarely works in a business environment. Employees don't have to like you in order for the business to be successful, but everyone loses if they hate or fear you.

My advice is to treat everyone fairly and equitably. Earn people's trust and acceptance through the job you do in leading them. If you do this, employees will respect you, even if they don't invite you to their next barbecue.

Learn more about this author, Bruno Somerset.
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