THIS IS THE ADVICE YOU WANTED TO HEAR YOU OLD LAZY BONES:

No need to stress about a flower garden:Get someone to do the work for you! (simple but true) Hard working next door neighours are the best solution to remaining a lazy gardeners. Invite them around for a drink. They will be itching to let you know how your garden should look like. They will mention any local youngsters/teenagers looking to earn extra pocket money. So, click online and buy a few plug plants on ebay, pay the teenager to dig the bed and manure it and then (if you feel like it) you can put the plants in place.

No need for a vegetable garden. Join an allotment society. After a few half-hearted attempts at clearing the plot, the local gardeners will feel sorry for you and chuck a few oversized marrows your way. At fall(autumn) apples may also be abundant. So, if you are going to make any effort at all with your garden then buy a juicer. Juice the apple offerings of the better gardeners and then sit on the patio sipping your fresh cocktail while watching the others hard at work!

After a while some people might catch on to your lack of interest in hard work and your general sluggishness, well then try plan B.

Plan B is to fill the garden with an oversized shed and a gravel patch. Now there will be no green living things requiring attention to worry about. The great thing about the shed is that unless you let anyone in it they will never know what it is used for (going for a siesta in your hammock of course!) and it will create the impression that you are an industrious do-it-yourself fanatic.

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