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They would never accuse me of being shy or coy or timid or feminine. Not that I was a tomboy. I just never cared for too frilly skirts, or eyeshadow and foundation, or giggled like a stereotypical idiot. Not me.
Wait until they see me now. Even I can hardly believe it, walking at your side, concealing the excited thumping to which my feet dance, hiding the stubborn smile that tickles my face, shielding the simple breathlessness that distorts my speech. Ah to be a fool, a fool in love. I ponder why I cannot be more of myselfwhy do I giggle senselessly, why can I not find a more witty comment, why can I not impress you, and whyoh why is it so hard to breathe?

Your presence stifles me, and I wonder once more as I toss my head in feigned nonchalance, willing you to notice my only worthy feature, as I wonder if we are flirting, I wonder if this is called a crush, I wonder if this could be love and lastly, I yearn to find outif you feel the same way about me.
Everyone says to act natural. But when you're around, I just forget who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. This feeling is driving me insane, so powerful and so compelling, it has to be, it just has to be! I stutter yet again, and the words almost form into a coherent question. There's nothing wrong with asking, the chemistry is too apparent, we're radiating the message with each synchronized move, I know you know that I know so what's wrong with asking?
As if on cue you wave to someone else and I hurriedly swallow my newfound courage, pretend to be disinterested while you chatter away as I sneakily observe your little actions, congratulating myself for being such a good detective, such a good actress. I never knew I could pull of so many things, even with this newfound stupidity and clumsiness I have when I'm around you, I find myself growing in gracewhen you're not around to see it. You always turn up when I'm in the most embarrassing states, when I'm drenched in the downpour, when I've lost a game and sweating, when I'm excited and jumping up and down, when I'm flushed and screaming, when I'm on a dare and doing absolutely stupid things
You turn back to me and beckon with a melting smile, for which I feel the familiar leap inside and I know the time is right. Now.
But we just walk on.

Learn more about this author, Angela Lu.
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