Replaceable

If I disappeared tomorrow
another writer would take my place
If I died suddenly and tragically
any soul with a voice could carry my message
If I quit and ran away
someone else could do my job
If I decided I wasn't strong enough
almost anyone could protect my friends
but if I vanished today

would you miss me?
or would someone else just fill the void in your heart?
Would somebody be able to take my place with you?
My place in your bed?
My place in you heart?
My place in you life?
Because if someone could
if someone else could make you happy
then let me just disappear once and for all
let someone else take my place
and bear all the burdens I carry for you
then let me go the way the ancient gods went
and disappear into nothingness
let me nestle down at a truck stop
somewhere on the edge of nowhere
there in a corner I'll sit
with my hat covering my face
hiding, sulking, being replaced
if I am truly of that little significance
then let me go there
because I grow tired of fighting
I grow tired of pressing on
I'd rather bow out with grace and applause
then forever live a lie doing another woman's work
but if you'd miss me
even for a moment on some distant day
then I won't budge
I won't give
because some things are worth fighting for
somethings are worth dying for
and if love is not such a thing
then its life itself that is a lie
and I am just a piece of a bigger puzzle
that spans the entire universe
so if you need me as much as you say
then I'll be here
by your side
never moving, always fighting
waiting until I become replaceable
with my hat in hand
and my route to nowhere mapped out
on a napkin in the back of my mind.

Learn more about this author, Andrea Beall.
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